Missing You
by Izzles
Summary: JackSam // Sam arrives at Jack's cabin, confused about their relationship post-Threads. 100 word drabble, followed by main story.
1. Drabble

**AN: just a 100 word drabble that popped into my head. Loosely based on the first paragraph of 'Sisterland' by Linda Newbery. Not beta-ed so sorry for spelling and grammar mistakes. If you can't guess the characters then have a wee peak at the bottom and i'll tell you. Disclaimer: I don't own anything at all. Nothing. Nada. Season: 9**

* * *

This feels so weird; wrong yet right. 

Sitting here near your home, your get-away place, your haven: but so far from you.

I miss you.

I miss you so much that it hurts.

It's a cliché, I know.

And I know how much you hate them.

I know that it's a corny thing to say, but it's also true.

Isn't that the point of old corny sayings?

Say something that is so true that you don't notice.

Then only when they affect you, do you realise how true they are.

You just have to make sure it's not too late.

* * *

**AN: ok people - was Jack and Sam. if you didn't get that then ... well that's just ... something. **


	2. Chapter 1

**a/n: i was encouraged to explain what on earth i was going on about in the drabble, so this may or may not. this was harder to write than it might seem, because i wanted it to be a realistic as possible - the thoughts going through their minds. hope you like - and i don't own anything. if i did, you'd know about it, i'd be doing some serious gloating! also its not beta-ed as i just wanted to get it posted.**

* * *

Making up her mind, Samantha Carter opened the car door and climbed out. She paused and took a deep breath, actions that felt so similar to the day she had decided to confront him. After walking up to the front door of the cabin, she pulled out the spare key from the not-so-secret hiding place of under the doormat. Hearing the click of the lock opening, she opened the door and realised she had been holding her breath, and allowed herself to breathe again. 

_He isn't here._

Not that she really would have minded if he had been, but then she would've had to explain why it was she was here, at his cabin – a question to which she would've been unable to answer.

She went into the kitchen and pulled out a beer from the fridge – the only source of food or drink there – and then headed out to the back yard. It was all still and quiet, the water glistening in the fall sun. She reached the edge of the pond and sat down. Pushing her sunglasses down to cover her eyes, she slid off her sandals and placed her feet gently in the water, watching as the ripples grew and faded away.

Had it really been four months since she had seen him? Even longer than when he was stuck on Edora – and back then she had worked non-stop at trying to bring him home. But he wasn't trapped on some alien planet, and she hadn't worked at trying to see him or keep in contact.

After his promotion to Head of Homeworld Security they had grown apart – fair enough he was in Washington, it would never be like the old days when he was always on base or just a short drive away at home. But Daniel and Teal'c had kept in touch – so why hadn't she? She had been busy - with Cassie, the Ori and Ba'al. It wasn't a good enough excuse though and she knew it.

She still thought of him, more often than she would ever admit. After she broke up with Pete and he was there for her when her father died…she was sure they would eventually do something about all the hidden feelings. But before Pete the feelings were there and not acted upon, so why would there have been anything different?

Their relationship had changed after she started dating the cop, and definitely when they got engaged. She had thought Pete her only chance at having some normality and having a family. After being made General, he had still come to her lab and talked to her, but the barrier between them had grown, a fact she had tried to ignore at the time.

He still came to her lab when she was working late into the night and brought her blue jell-o, coffee or cake. But she had missed his lingering presence, even if he usually annoyed her, or worse ended up breaking something.

Now there wasn't even those quick stop-bys. She couldn't take subtle peeks at him in briefings, hope that he'd pop into her lab on his way back form the mess hall or secretly enjoy their playful banter.

She had spoken to one of her alternate selfs, one who after he left, took the risk and told him her feelings. They were now happily engaged, him using Asguard beams to take him to their home in Colorado Springs. That could have been her. So what was different about this reality? Was it a choice she made differently, or something neither one of them could have controlled?

The video said there had been no fish in his pond. But they had discovered on their fishing trip that in fact, there were. Had they changed something, could that have been the difference?

"Carter?"

* * *

It was Saturday, Jack realised happily as he woke up to the faint light shining through his window. No boring paperwork or annoying Pentagon personnel to deal with. And this weekend he was going fishing. 

After getting dressed, he threw his bag into the passenger seat and climbed into his truck. As he pulled out of the drive he tried to concentrate on the road, on the scenery, but once again his thoughts lead to her, a certain blonde astrophysicist who refused to leave his thoughts.

He had invited Daniel and Teal'c – not sure whether they would come or not, but they had their own stuff to do this weekend. He had thought about asking Carter, but in the months since he'd seen her, they hadn't spoken much and she was probably busy moving on with her life to come fishing with her former CO.

He had picked up the phone so many times to call her, but what would he say? He missed her for sure – her scientific babbling, the looks she gave him when he did something stupid, her concentrated look whilst she worked, her smile – he just missed her. Heck, he even missed her called him Sir.

Maybe he had been kidding himself all these years that his feelings were reflected back– she was just so incredible and he was a grumpy old General. They had never really said anything, but there had been so many moments when words couldn't have explained. No, there was something much more than friendship there, and he would always know and feel that.

He had stepped back when she got engaged to the cop, but it pained him to see her with someone who wasn't him. He had always told her to go out and get herself a life, but then he had realised that he hadn't really wanted her to have one, when it didn't involve him. When she arrived in his back yard, he wanted to tell her everything – but he wasn't like that, didn't do the whole feelings thing. He had thought they had sorted out their issues on the fishing trip, but he now realised that they had only really acknowledged each other's feelings, and not had a discussion on what to do.

As he pulled into the cabin's drive, he instantly recognised the car already sitting there. He stopped and got out, checking first to see she wasn't sitting in the car. He went to the front door and found it open, house empty, and so walked round to the back and saw her sitting at the edge of his pond, feet placed in the water.

Her blonde hair was glistening in the light, the gentle breeze rustling it about, with her face pointed up to the sun. She took a swig from the beer bottle in her hand, and looked deep in thought.

Pulling himself out of his daydream, he walked closer to her, deciding that he really should say something before she turned and caught him staring.

"Carter?"

* * *

**a/n2: go on, review, tell me how much of it actually made sense :) this may actually turn out to be a longer story...but only if you want so do tell!**


	3. Chapter 3

**first: sorry for taking so long. i really am, but i won't bore you with my reasons. also sorry to the wonderful wonderful person who suggested the Sam and pond incident - unfotunately i wrote your name down on a bit of paper, emptied inbox, and can i find the note anywhere? nope. so thank you, and have some virtual cookies!**

**disclaimer: i don't own anything stargate related, believe me if i did there would be jack/sam relationship confirmation.**

**spoilers: Lost City reference, really anything up to mid S9**

* * *

It wasn't. It _couldn't_ be. She had to be hearing things. Dr McKenzie was going to love this one. Sam closed her eyes tightly and hoped that when she looked round he wouldn't really be there.

"Earth to Carter…"

Oh god, he was. Opening her eyes, she turned around slowly, praying that the Asguard would beam her up. Like right now. Or hopefully the ground might suddenly decide to swallow her up.

No such luck.

"Hi Sir," she smiled weakly.

"Carter, what'cha doing?"

It was then she remembered that here she was; sitting in his back yard, feet still dangling in the water. Scrambling up to greet him, she misjudged the height of the dock, and promptly fell back into the icy cold pond.

* * *

Jack watched surprised as she ducked under the water, and then broke the surface, gasping desperately for air. He rushed over and held out his hand for her, trying desperately not to laugh.

She grabbed hold of his arm, using it to pull herself onto the deck. Now completely and utterly embarrassed – and soaking wet – she stood up beside him.

He couldn't hold it in. Smiling he asked, looking completely innocent, "Nice swim Carter?"

She glared at him saying nothing.

"I'm sorry. It was funny though!"

"_Wasn't_," she insisted, shivering in the dulling day.

"C'mon let's see if there's any dry clothes for you."

He headed back to the cabin, stifling his laughs, as she trailed in behind him, dripping water everywhere.

"Uh sorry sir," she indicated to the wet patches across his hall.

"No problem," he assured her, still smirking.

"Thanks Sir," she said sheepishly.

"I swear Carter, if you call me Sir one more time…"

"Sorry Sir," she winced at saying the title again, and quickly corrected herself, "Jack."

He wandered into the bedroom and returned, presenting her with a bundle of clothes.

"Sorry this is all I've got."

"It's fine, thank you." She rushed into the bathroom and pulling off her wet clothing and replacing it with the warm, dry ones he had given her.

It smelled like him. Oh god, she'd want to cuddle into it all day.

* * *

Walking into the living room, Jack handed her a steaming mug of coffee, which she took gratefully. She grinned at seeing his Simpson's collection, and thought back to the day he decided it was going to Siler.

She had wanted to tell him then, fearing that the ancient knowledge would kill him. But he was saved and the continued on as they were.

She sat down on the couch, curling her legs under her, and waited for him to ask the question she was dreading.

"Carter, I hope you don't mind me asking, but really – what are you doing here?"

Her cheeks flushed red, showing her obvious embarrassment, as she searched for an answer.

"I don't know. I was out driving in my car-"

"Is this another one of your funny stories?" she smirked.

"Maybe," she smiled back.

There was a brief silence before Jack spoke, "So you don't know why you're here. Fair enough." He sipped his beer, hoping she would elaborate.

"Well I sort of do. But I don't."

"Once more Sam, you completely baffle me."

Jack didn't' even notice he had let her name slip, but she had, and was secretly delighted in the way it sounded coming from his mouth.

They sat for a few moments in an awkward silence.

_This is stupid! I've done scarier and crazier things than this,_ Sam yelled to herself.

And suddenly she realised that if she didn't talk to him now, she probably never would. Gathering up all her courage, she uncurled her legs and turned to face him.

"I miss you."

* * *

Jack was rather taken aback at her confession. They had always kept these sorts of feelings hidden, never wanting to go too deep into what they meant.

"Phone not good enough?" he joked weakly.

She hung her head, "It's not the same."

"I know." He lowered his eyes to the bottle in his hands. "I missed you too Sam," he whispered, just loud enough for her to hear.

He glanced up, and she looked into his eyes, flashing a brief smile.

"Jack, I want, I _need_…" she tried to explain, words failing her, and took a deep breath. "I need to know if you still feel the same for me."

She studied his face, trying to determine what his expression meant.

"I need to know if there will ever be something more for us. Or are we going to continue on, only letting our true feelings through when faced with death?"

Taking his silence as a cue, she continued.

"I know we aren't very good at this Jack – dealing with our feelings – it's who we are. But I need to sort this out."

"Sam you know how I feel."

She nodded slightly, knowing exactly that.

"But I can't answer you about the rest."

Feeling frustrated, Sam pushed him to explain.

"Why not Jack? Don't you want _something_ for us?"

"I can't Sam. I can't allow you to possibly throw away your career away, or for people to doubt your talents."

She began to protest, but he continued on.

"What if they think I've been favouring you all along? What if they question every promotion, every decision we made over the years!"

Sam almost laughed at what she thought to be bad excuses. "I don't care what they gossip about, I don't care what they think of me … not if it means having you."

"But I do!"

Sam stared out the window; feeling tears beginning to form in her eyes, and quickly jumped to her feet. There was nothing more to be said, she concluded, and put down the mug. Walking briskly to the door, she thanked him coldly for the clothes and headed out.

"Sam…"

She turned to see him standing in the doorframe.

"_What?_ What do you want from me?" she shouted, "I've taken the step – crossed the invisible line between us, yet you're still holding back. What more do you want from me?"

Before he could answer, she opened the front door, and slammed it shut behind her. The fury was beginning to dissolve away, leaving her full of heartache and regret.

* * *

_Eight years._ Eight years she had loved him in secret. She had given up her chance to have a family and a life with Pete, because she her dad urged her to find happiness. She knew it was what she needed to do, and she knew Jack was the only one who could give it to her.

Remembering she had left her keys, Sam continued walking down the drive and followed the road. The gentle trickling of rain on her head, warned her that it was going to start pouring down soon.

She started walking faster, and faster, her heart beginning to race. Eventually she was running, not allowing herself to cry like she needed to. She didn't deal with emotions well, and pushed away all the woe she felt at the moment.

* * *

Five minutes later, she was completely drenched for the second time that day, and constantly having to wipe the water from her eyes. Looking around, she realised that she had no idea where she was. Finding Jack's cabin, she could probably manage, but she couldn't go back, not right now.

"Sam!" She heard a voice in the distance yell. Turning around, she saw a figure running towards her.

"Sam!" the voice cried again, and she then recognised the figure.

Spinning round, she walked off in the opposite direction from him. She could hear his rhythmic padding getting closer and closer, and she found herself unable to run from him.

A hand on her arm twisted her around to face him.

"I have wanted you for so long Sam. I always hoped we'd have our chance, but when it came … I got scared ok? Scared that I might let you down, that I wasn't worth what others might say, scared that I wasn't who you thought."

Sam looked up into his chocolate-brown eyes, rain thundering around them, but all she could see was Jack.

"I love you Sam."

Finally hearing the words come form his mouth, caused her heart to lift, all the worry and issues melting away.

She broke into a grin, lighting up her whole face, "I love you too Jack."

He wrapped his arms around her, hugging her fiercely.

"We should probably get back, it's a bit wet," he joked, after a while.

She laughed into his chest, "Yes that is a good idea."

Jack pulled back and looked into her eyes, brushing her cheek with his thumb and tucking back her wet hair.

"I know of another good idea," he whispered.

Cupping her face in his hands, he pulled her into kiss full of passion and longing, ending eight long years off wanting and opening the door to their future.

* * *

**THE END**


End file.
